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†Ḩ WÄ¥ Úþ Ì †HÌñK .... M§ñ ÐÄZÈÐ & ÇÖñ£Ú§ÈÐ MÈ ....From the slacktart laid on the rafters in a dirtyloftspace ...
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January 28 NOT AS DAFT AS FACEBOOK ....Dya reckon this is Plod's idea of havin' a larf ...?? Star Wars is older than them. Their lifetime has always included AIDS. Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic. They have always had an answering machine They cannot fathom not having a remote control. They have always had CD's, never records. Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave. They never took a swim and thought about Jaws. They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are. They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even was. McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers. They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter. Do you feel old yet? January 14 NONSENSE TO AMUSEThese are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters.
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And the best first - they go downhill after this one! ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there. _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do. ATTORNEY: Voodoo? WITNESS: We do. ATTORNEY: You do? WITNESS: Yes, voodoo. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one. ________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Uh.... ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him! ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh? ____________________________________________ And an update on my baby Lucy ... September 30 Thought You All Might Find This Titterworthy!A present for your Aunt Fanny but I haven't seen any on special offer in TkMaxx yet .... !!  September 02 MEET LUCYMy little diamond in the sky - my NOO baby Jack Russell Terror! She is just so full of joy and life! Magical mayhem reigns in her presence with an aura of mischief prevailing wherever she goes ....  Wotta little smart arse she is too - compact and bijout, loving and loyal, unpredictable and unruly, feisty and female - an endless source of energy and entertainment.  Most of all she NEEDS me just as much as I need her and it feels so good to be wanted and needed by such a helpless little picklesome creature.  AND I LOVE HER TO BITS !! If you'd like to see her in motion then just take a peek at this vid I've done of Little Miss 15 Weeks Worth of Trouble .... !! June 08 TROPICAL FRESH AIR WITH BAPS THROWN IN !!Just a couple or three very short vids - Roger's UK woodland tweety birds .... or be they tropical rain forest barmyburds ?? And someone's idea of the sweetest smelling forest air .... !! ( A la furry tree-rat style ... naughty squirrel saves the day heehee-larious!!) AND ... I just couldn't resist this guy trying not to crack his face - Didya ever see Baps like these .... ?? Visit Dodge to get the answer on the birdies.... May 27 WELL I KNOW THAT I'M THE WRONG SIDE OF 55 .....And I know that I'm counting down the days to picking up my bus-pass and getting free prescriptions - if I last that long!!
And I know all us more senior gels ( or should I say sluts... ??!) like to show that we can still cut the mustard and get away with murder in the clothes and body adornment department - But honestly Tinkergrannybell you really do look bloody redickylus - if you're going to wear that gear for goodness sake make it the real McCoy and preferably tone up that body of yours first! - (or at least get the pictures edited right so we can't see all the joins!!)  But then again - you gotta hand it to her - full marks for bottle or should I say balls  And she does look a lot healthier and more real than this wannabe size double minus zero ....  Who really oughta be wearing a one-peice with a sarong - or better still - a sack? That goes for the fella too!! March 26 URGENT POLL !!LONDON SKYLINE 2012
 PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO CAST YOUR VOTE<
Evening Standard Poll
Ken Livingstone is planning to use tax payer's money to build an enormous mosque costing an estimated 100M in the docklands. What do you think about it? Wouldn't it be better to spend the money on a new hospital or improved transport facilities?? BIGGER THAN ST PAULS!!! The plan is for the mosque to be so big that people flying in from all over the world for the 2012 Olympics will it see it as the biggest landmark in London, bigger than St Pauls, Westminster Abbey or Wembley Stadium
Take a second to cast your vote in The Evening Standard on-line poll to determine public opinion about whether a mega mosque should be built for the Olympics.
The vote so far is 62 % in favour.
It looks like the Muslim community is casting its vote in droves, and as usual the Christians are burying their heads in the sand....
After voting, please tell as many people as you can. Here's the link:http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/poll/poll-18791-details/ques-18669-id/%C2%A3100m+mosque%3A+Vote+now/poll.do
March 21 LATEST RATED RIDDLES
February 05 VOTED LAST YEAR'S TOP MEN (Though God knows why)These Women are loved and honoured, cherished and nurtured, protected and made safe by their valiant and gentlemanly guys .... I don't fink so - It's still most definitely a Man's World !        So which one would YOU choose then girls? Personally - I'd shoot all three of the slobs! January 31 NOT REALLY A MUCKY VIDEO ....Just needs a bit of stain-remover that's all .... and boys will be boys - (apologies for the bad taste ..) - Products like this bring a whole new dimension to wash-day !! January 30 WHOOPEE MSN EMBED VIDEO AT LAST !!HOORAH! How long has it taken MSN to catch up with all the other blog sites ... ?? Embedded flash-players in blogs at last! So there was no need to install all their poxy video gadgets after all ... guess I'm the plonka as usual then! MIND BOGGLINGIs there something wrong with my peepers but that one in the bottom right corner won't move for me ... ??  January 15 SERIOUSLY ?You couldn't make it up could ya ? I mean - chapatti flour and hair peroxide ? Do we all really want to know how to blow ourselves up? Or should I just put it in my recipe book for later .....
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